About Me

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'm getting fat. So, so, so fat. Every bite I eat is another 10 pounds on my obese body. Every day is another chance to make it back to nothing. Part of me wants to be skinny. Part of me wants to disappear.

Sometimes I wonder if it's even about being thin. It's about how thin is the epitome of everything good. Once I'm skinny, everything else will fall into place. Part of me knows that I might never get there. Part of me knows that I'll always want to lose more. Still, there's a goal and I need to get there.

Hungry just feels good. In a world where I can accomplish nothing, at least I can accomplish not eating.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I'm never done with this.

It all started when I was a sophomore in high school. Not eating. What a great idea. I stopped and it felt good.
It kept feeling good.
I realized I was ruining my health. I tried to get better.
I repeated this cycle over and over again.
Here I am. Freshly un-recovered and ready for more starvation.
It feels good. I'm ready to be thin.
This time I will get there.